My journey to self-realisation

I have always been fascinated with this mysterious thing called life.

I’ve always wanted to understand – what does it all mean? What am I supposed to be doing here? And, as the type A personality that I am, how do I make the most of it? How do I do good, achieve and succeed?

Of course to do well at it, you have to know the rules. ‘What are the rules?’, I asked my parents, teachers, professors, employers. You can be sure that there was no shortage of answers, each delivered with varying degrees of conviction.

Good student of life that I am, I took in and applied all the advice offered. I pursued personal growth. Through life’s trials and tests I fell, learned how to reinvent myself, and how to get up. I became a successful adult, I achieved.

For years, though, I had secretly harboured a suspicion that I no longer knew who I was. My life had been overtaken by career progression - success in an area that didn’t align to my core values. Conventional wisdom is that if you’re really good at something, then that’s what you should be doing. So I couldn’t very well turn my back on it.

Things were no better in my personal life. I suffered from high-functioning depression and anxiety. My people-pleasing and peace-at-all-costs tendencies also meant I had no idea who I was any more, let alone what I wanted for myself from life. As a result, I had a hidden soup of simmering resentment towards the very people I loved.

All this came to a screeching halt when I suffered from burnout and experienced a psychotic episode soon thereafter. This was the moment. I was finished. Empty. This mental, physical and spiritual crisis kickstarted the most life-changing transformative period of my life.

It has been an arduous journey back to myself - to remembering who I am. It has been a journey of self-discovery, empowerment and authentic connection with my loved ones. I’ve also encountered people, ideas and tools that helped to pull me out from that dark abyss. In this process, I have remembered the truth of who and what I am.

I have learned that the journey to Self is not a journey of individualism but individuation … reclaiming the rejected forgotten pieces of ourselves so that we may make our unique contribution to the world. It impacts our relationships, health and careers.

After years of treating it as a side hobby, I have realised this is my true purpose. I am here to help myself and others to come to Wisdom, Love and Understanding of self.